Albert Einstein’s Special Theory of Relativity proved that the properties of time and light can be reduced to a simple mathematical formula: E=mc², where energy (E) equals mass (m) times the speed of light (c) squared (2). The secret the formula revealed: that mass and energy are different forms of the same thing- had eluded scientists for centuries, much like how transformation has eluded Nigeria for decades.
When I observed the “sifia pains” people are enduring and the alarming rise in ‘legacy and executive beggars’, I took Nigeria’s case study to Albert Einstein laboratory, through “Professor Google”, pleading with him to diagnose the country and recommend the best way forward. Nigeria is an abnormal country, and Nature always completes her transactions, her books always balance. Unhappiness, untold hunger and frustration of life are due to a breach somewhere of the law of balance. When nation-states within a geographical space try to take from one another to enrich one and impoverish the other, when there is a disequilibrium in wealth distribution, when people are unequally yoked, two violently unbalanced conditions which cause civil war or circular crises occur.
Professor Einstein concluded that Nigeria is like a partial differential equation which is difficult, but not impossible, to solve. He likened Nigeria’s predicament to a “madman’s luggage”. The question remains: who will unpack it, how and when?
Professor Albert Einstein’s QR code for transforming Nigeria contains a mathematical formula: *T = EC³ + (D - C²) × i,* where Transformation (T) equals Elites’ Consensus plus Commitment and Capacity (EC³), in addition to Decentralization (D), minus Corrosive Corruption (C²), multiplied by the speed of Innovation (i). In his view, Nigeria is not a simple equation like 2x - 4 = 2. The British Empire deliberately created Nigeria as a complex partial differential equation: 2uxy + 3uy - Bux + 11 = 0. The exam is to find *0*. Sadly enough, the past fifteen Heads of government couldn’t find *0*, indeed, four of them died in office trying to find *0*, and the current one is sweating profusely, pencil-in-hand, trying to solve the equation.
Solving a complex partial differential equation sometimes requires a re-arrangement and separation of variables, i.e. moving the terms in an equation around.
Which is why holding elections every four years using the same unworkable 1999 Constitution and hoping to find *0* from such rituals is both naive and wishful thinking. The greatest scientist of the 20th century is of the opinion that Nigeria needs to pause, and re-think, and recalibrate, which is called ‘’re-arrangement and separation of variables’’ in partial differential equations.
Our whole world is bound and governed by certain immutable laws of Nature, *for Life is not casual, but causal*. Concerning modernization and nation-building, there are three immutable laws: (1) the law of Homogeneity and Centralization, (2) the law of Heterogeneity and Decentralization, and (3) the Inviolate law of Balance. It is instructive to learn that history honestly testifies that it is impossible to achieve transformation in a heterogeneous society like Nigeria that is governed centrally due to cataclysmic disorder.
Even then, for any of the three immutable laws to succeed, having the elite's consensus, commitment and capacity is nonnegotiable. Additionally, Albert Einstein emphasized that eradicating corrosive corruption is critical, urgent, and compulsory. While corruption exists in every society, Nigeria’s variant is corrosive. Like Sodium and Sulphur, it destroys and kills through a chemical reaction. Corrosive corruption manifests when Nigeria's elites loot the treasury and send their stolen wealth to secret foreign bank accounts or store it in septic tanks, bury it underground on farms, or even in graveyards, (‘Dead Money’) rather than ‘drycleaning’ it in Nigeria for the Common Good. He also argued that Nigeria must innovate at the speed of light, which is directly tied to the quality of education given to children. This, in turn, depends on the quantum and quality of infrastructure, the relevance of academic curricula, and the nutritional well-being of both students and their teachers.
Nigeria remains the only ‘opposite’ country among those identified by the United Nations in the 1960s as *“The Next Medium Power”* of the seven nations projected, which are China, Malaysia, India, Singapore, Taiwan, South Korea, and Nigeria. Only Nigeria remains stuck at the basement of modernization while her peers have ascended to the seventh floor. Indeed, China made it to the 9th floor within 30 years, while UAE did it in 10 years! Similarly, in 2011, Nigeria was included among the *MINT* countries (Mexico, Indonesia, Nigeria, and Turkey), projected to achieve economic greatness by 2020. While the other three met and even exceeded expectations, Nigeria had “carry-over” in all nine subjects she sat for. Again, in 2015, another international group identified the next three wonders of the world as *“PIN”* (Philippines, Indonesia, and Nigeria). When the results came out, “PI” passed while “N” failed. Finally, by 2019, Nigeria emerged as the world’s poverty capital, a shameful trophy that concluded the discussion.
Albert Einstein described Nigerian elites as “UDJ” *(Uneducated Dumb Jokers)*. That categorization led me to request “Professor Google” to organize an online interview with him. The following is the discussion:
*Tim*: Hi, Professor Albert Einstein. My name is Tim A., I am a youth empowerment enthusiast, Pan-Africanist, Technopreneur, and an African thought leader. I disagree with your categorization of Nigerian elites as “UDJ”. With hundreds of billionaires, politicians, business owners, and religious leaders flying private jets and leading a platinum lifestyle in Nigeria, your assertion seems mean. Vice President Kashim Shettima recently gave us "good news" while responding to Kemi Badenoch, leader of the UK Conservative Party, stating that one in every three or four Black persons on earth is a Nigerian. The VP said by 2050, Nigeria is projected to become the third most populous country on earth, overtaking America in population. Nigeria is a Superpower in waiting, I think!
*Albert Einstein:* Nice meeting you, Tim, even if virtually.
First, don’t call me Professor; I am simply Albert Einstein. The penchant for titles is a Nigerian disease that has evolved from an epidemic to a pandemic. Your people crave titles the way your women crave hair, nails, and eyelid attachments. For your information, anyone who cannot find fulfilment or recognition by their first two names is either a failure, or a victim, of what I call Legacy Inferiority Complex (LIC).
All the great innovations your 230 million people depend upon daily come from leaders without titles: Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Elon Musk, Larry Page of Google, Michael Dell and Jack Ma of Alibaba among others.
Yes, I deliberately used strong words to describe your elites because they have failed woefully in discharging their historic responsibilities. This failure has turned your country into a global laughingstock, where life is short, brutish and nasty.
Your Elites are unwise, otherwise they would have known that in Nature, nothing can be given, all things are sold. Their physical health, personal safety or happiness is directly proportional to the health and safety and happiness of the average man on the street. They should ask their counterparts in Europe why they are constantly pushing their respective nations towards equilibrium.
Wise elites will dread more personal prosperity which only loads them with more. Benefit is the end of nature. But for every benefit that does not translate to abundance for the greatest number, a tax is levied, which MUST be fully liquidated during their lifetime, or their descendants will become debtors to Nature. In Nature, there is no debt cancellation, no tax evasion, no tax reforms Bill, because there is no National Assembly: every unjust accumulation of prosperity and power and benefits are avenged in equal measure.
Before I forget, tell your Vice President to stop bragging about the size of your population. By 2040, artificial intelligence (AI) will handle 85% of what human beings currently do, rendering population size irrelevant. As Yuval Noah Harari warned, most of that population will become part of the *Global useless population*, unless you reverse the rot in your country, and quickly, too. In the AI age, Productivity, and not population, determines who wins.
*Tim*: Okay, Mr. Albert Einstein, given your monumental intellectual magnitude as a science expounder, permit me to “attach” something to your name; perhaps “Ogbeni AE,” “Mallam AE,” or even “Chief Servant AE.” You are extraordinary, and my culture frowns upon addressing elders by their names alone. Now, tell me, where do you think the fault lies? Is the fault in us, our stars, and our geography, or is there a “supernatural embargo” preventing Nigeria from rising?
*Mallam AE:* Of course, the fault is in you- both the leaders and the citizens. You have eyes but cannot see, brains but cannot think your way out of the hole in which you remain enmeshed. You have hands yet cannot produce even the simplest things like pencils, toothpicks or matches. Even teddies for black babies, and Christmas trees are produced by the Chinese who are not Christians! You have everything you need to create the abundance that could make Nigeria the America of the Black race or the China of the African continent. Yet, you choose to remain a Lilliputian!
*Tim:* Mallam AE, how then do we achieve EC³? Nigerians have been waiting, fasting, and praying for a Messiah, the chosen one who will transform the country.
*Ogbeni AE:* No one leader can single-handedly turn around a country without EC³. You’ve had strong men like Awolowo, Aminu Kano, Gani Fawehinmi, Tunde Idiagbon, and OBJ. Why did they fail in their quest for power or their attempts to transform Nigeria with the power given to them? Take, for instance, President Obasanjo. He believed the NNPC refineries would function better in the hands of private investors. Yet, two weeks after leaving office, the sales of the refineries were cancelled by the Yar'Adua government, and since then, billions of dollars have been wasted on fruitless Turnaround Maintenance (TAM).
Similarly, President Obasanjo upheld the sacrosanctity of the country’s secular constitution. Yet, under the 4-Stars General’s watch, the country’s secularity was compromised by an ordinary mallam, and heaven didn’t fall! Obasanjo also prioritized massive savings for rainy days and exiting the Paris debt trap. However, two years after he left power, the elites that took over from him engineered ‘’cloud seeding to artificially cause rain’’, therefore, the funds he saved were looted, and Nigeria fell into an even bigger debt trap, now nearing ₦130 trillion! I repeat: your elites are UDJ!
The only instance where EC³ seems to work in Nigeria is during *Item 7!* The elites, allegedly led by Abacha, Diezani, Yahaya Bello, and Betty Edu unite during a treasury-looting congregation. According to EFCC, all differences disappear, no political parties, no religion, no region. There is perfect unanimity, with everyone singing from the same song sheet- the men harmonize in bass vocals, the women in soprano, while the boys and girls sing in alto.
*Tim:* Chief Servant Albert Einstein, can you further elucidate the role of leadership in your formula: T = EC³ + (D – C²) × i?
*Ogbeni AE:* Tim. Please, I vehemently reject your title of “Chief Servant”. That is yet another ludicrous, Luciferian title used by some of your thieving politicians. Were you not in Nigeria when the National Assembly approved SUVs and bogus allowances for themselves contrary to your constitution, which prohibits public officers from fixing their remuneration? Did you see any “Obidient” or “Atikulate” arguing against such an anomaly?
For transformation to happen, a country needs the first core three burden bearers, i.e. Washington, Jefferson, and Adams, in the case of America. Then it requires the strong 12 Change Evangelists, then the inner 50 strategists and, finally, 1,000 committed elites, i.e. the enforcers who are all united and ready to pay the ultimate price for their actions, if need be. That was what happened in Singapore, Israel, America, and China. It wasn’t just Lee Kuan Yew, David Ben-Gurion, George Washington, or Deng Xiaoping who transformed their respective countries. It was a section of their elites coming together to declare; *This far, no further. We must do whatever it takes to remove the oppressor’s knee from our neck so we can breathe.* The tragedy of the Nigeria situation is that the elite's consensus for transformation is completely impossible because you sold yourself a fat lie when you tell one another: one nation, one people, one destiny. You are many nations, different people, many destinies, like the UK!
*Tim*: Are you saying one strong man in Aso Rock can’t transform Nigeria under the proposed mega party?
*Mallam AE:* Nigeria is like a Polygamous home where every child clings to their mother’s arm for emotional and psychological gratification. Consequently, building EC3 along the maternal line (nation-states within Nigeria) is your only veritable pathway to arrive at your respective ‘promised land’. President Buhari, after ruling Nigeria for over nine years, was honest enough to publicly declare that ‘’if Nigeria (his country) becomes too hot, I will join ‘’my people’’ (Fulani nation-state) in Niger Republic.
More importantly, however, *every successful movement in history was built on ideology, not personality*. In one of my books, I had your country in mind when I wrote, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.”.
I believe it is high time your country stopped indulging in wishful thinking. The way your country is currently structured, no national transformative leadership can emerge relying on the existing superstructure. Therefore, EC³ is impossible, and without EC³ + (D – C²) × i, transformation will remain elusive.
What brough ruins to ‘eternal’ Roman empire in 476 AD? The different nationalities that made up the Roman Empire kept struggling for the steering of the Empire’s Limo with one another like crabs in a water jar, pulling themselves down to the basement, full of negative energy. This is exactly how the Hausa, Igbo, Yoruba, Bini, Fulani, Ijaw, and others have been behaving for the past 64 years. It was after Portugal, France, Britain, Spain etc achieved self-governance that they could focus on building their respective civilization, became stronger, more innovative and more productive and more prosperous. In nation-building, a branch can be stronger than the whole: e.g., Slovenia and Croatia are economically stronger that the old Yugoslavia that broke into six countries.
Your country urgently needs VITAMIN D (Decentralization) to stay alive and fulfill its historic responsibility to the Black race. Your options are limited; decentralize or disintegrate.
The UK embraced decentralization after witnessing how chaotic and unsustainable the Roman Empire was. Do you know that Scotland has its currency, the “Pound Scots,” and is still part of the United Kingdom? What stops the commercially oriented Igbo nation or the Fulani nation who is always ‘on the go’ from having their respective currencies to trade alongside the Nigerian Naira?
*Tim:* Ogbeni AE, tell me, how can Nigeria proceed? We are at a crossroads.
*Ogbeni AE:* As a scientist, I seek truth from the forest of facts and figures. The ten most heterogeneous and centrally governed countries globally are also some of the most underdeveloped and crisis prone. Liberia is the most racially diverse country, with a diversity rate of 88.9%, followed by Uganda (88.3%), Togo (88%), Nepal, Chad, South Africa, Kenya, Mali, Nigeria, and Guinea-Bissau in that order.
The only exception on the list is South Africa which was developed under the Apartheid regime with brute force. Recall Apartheid South Africa had nuclear weapons. But since Apartheid was uprooted, the agitation by the whites is increasing because they are dissatisfied serving as a bus conductor to the blacks, therefore they are clamouring for their own separate country in South Africa.
Meanwhile, European countries are 90%-95% homogenous (white Caucasians who built their civilization on Christian values).
Similarly, the most peaceful and progressive Middle Eastern nations are homogenous, such as Saudi Arabia, the UAE, and Qatar, they built their civilization on Islamic values. On the other hand, “plural states” like Syria and Iraq are doomed under centralization. The most developed nations in the world are either homogeneous or, when heterogeneous, they are decentralized. For example, China is 92% Han nationality, Japan is 97.4% Japanese, Germany is 95%, India is 80% Hindu, and South Korea is 99.9% Korean. Heterogeneous nations like the United States, Canada, Switzerland had to embrace decentralization deliberately as a sine-qua-non for peace, progress and prosperity.
I know you’re tempted to ask what happened in Somalia, where one nationality and one religion are killing one another. Somalia/Southern Sudan are rare abnormalities that prove the rule.
Even God Almighty is a ‘’DECENTRALIZER’’. A careful study of planetary habitability in the solar system, as discovered by NASA scientists, shows the gravitational pull of other planetary bodies. They concluded that Pluto might be a dwelling place for GHOSTS. Besides Earth, scientists believe that other planets could host living beings referred to as aliens or UFOs. God made sure Angels have their own ecosystem ditto the beings in the seas and oceans. Assume for a moment that all the planets in the solar system strayed their paths, even just a little, their harmonious coexistence would cause a solar disaster akin to a cosmic cyclone, in a jiffy.
What will happen if these aliens and ghosts set up their own political parties in Nigeria? Like the *Aliens National Party (ANP) or the Renewed Ghosts Republican Party (RGRP)*, and decide to field their own presidential candidates in the 2027 elections? (Laughs).
Although I have a hunch: with the velocity at which Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, and others keep disturbing the ghosts and aliens in their natural habitats, constantly taking trips to space, one day, these beings might get angry and descend upon Earth in millions to hold a public hearing for GHOSTS inside the national Assembly chamber!
Now, can VP Kazim Shettima, of ‘’restructure-my-foot’’ fame see why God, in His incomparable wisdom, created a Decentralized universe! The Universe is one but it is a confederacy!
*Tim*: Ogbeni AE, we are gearing up for the Christmas celebrations and the “Cross-over” night. I’m happy to learn from “Professor Google” that you are now a godly scientist like our ‘’practising religious elites’’. Can you kindly help pray along for Nigeria's transformation in the new year.
*Ogbeni AE:* Religiosity is not synonymous with godliness or spiritually. God is love, purity, and beauty. Tell me, where is virtue in the way your elites loot and create terrorism as a tool for capturing power and maintaining hegemony? Have you read what the Holy Book says about prayers, Tim? It says, *“You ask and do not receive because you ask amiss.”*
*Tim:* Ogbeni AE, can I give you our prayer list so that you can help us pray rightly? Nigerians don’t want to pray amiss in 2025.Please, Albert Einstein, kindly help us pray to achieve 24x7 uninterrupted electricity and power to feed ourselves as a nation. Pray for the 30 million out-of-school children to suddenly find themselves in classrooms by January 2025! Pray for our hospitals to receive wisdom to treat our leaders who jet off to France for medical tourism. Pray for our students to become problem-solvers instead of relying on Chinese to construct our roads and Israelis for protection. NBS has just announced that kidnapping is the fastest growing business in Nigeria with a total turnover of N2.3 Trillion in 12 months, bigger than Dangote, please we need prayers for kidnappers to sleep a sleep of death on December 31st and not wake up on January 1st, 2025. And pray for the 30 million unemployed youths on the streets to get quality miracle jobs by the first week of January 2025. Please, we equally need prayers to bring down the food inflation rate from 34% to at least 5%. Was it not the fervent prayers of King Chales and the British people that brought down the UK inflation rate to 1.7% in November?
More importantly, Prof, we need big prayers for the sagging value of our national currency. The naira is completely impotent. We want it to be strong again. If we cannot get it to $1:N1 immediately, kindly use prayers to take it back to where Papa Buhari left it in 2023 at $1:N700. We are all in “sifia pains” directly or indirectly.
*Professor Albert Einstein:* Tim, God is process driven. HE will not do for Nigeria what Nigerians should do for themselves. Or do you think it is God that provides electricity, jobs, roads, and food to the Chinese, Jews, Arabs, Caucasians and Japanese? Transformation is 1% natural endowment and 99% hard work. In a wave of water, the amount of water which is above its level equals the amount which is below. Be warned: there is no equilibrium in poverty, some of your people may be at the treadmill of mere existence today- eating from the dustbins, but at least, people have not started eating one another yet! Conditions can cascade!
More importantly, for your information, the Devil has publicly issued a disclaimer here that his hands are clean regarding Nigeria’s sorry situation, and we believe him! When interrogated, the Devil admitted he’s the one orchestrating chaos in Somalia, Sudan, Syria (the three “S” countries) and Libya, Ukraine and Gaza. But when asked about his involvement in Nigeria's circular crises and untold suffering, the Devil swore by his name that neither he nor his children nor cousins have a hand in Nigeria.
The Devil revealed that on January 15, 1970, when the civil war ended, he sold the Exclusive Master franchise on Nigeria to the elites!
When God created the world, He declared it good and issued four clear commands: (1) Be fruitful, (2) Multiply and fill the earth, (3) Subdue it, and (4) Have dominion over the fish of the sea (with ships), the birds of the heavens (with airplanes), and every living thing that moves on Earth (with artificial intelligence). Nigerians, however, chose to obey only one commandment: multiply and fill the earth.
Ralph Waldo Emerson, in *"Compensation"* (1841), had Nigeria in mind when he wrote the lines below, *“The wings of time are black and white. Trembling balance duly keeps. Nature hates monopolies and exceptions but venerates Nemesis and abhors vacuum. The parted water reunites behind our hand. That in nature, nothing can be given; all things are sold. What will you have, quote God? Pay for it. The Devil is an ass. For, I plant into deserts, conquered from Chaos and Nothing. and see the darkness receding on the horizon. Nothing arbitrary, nothing artificial can endure because things refuse to be mismanaged for long. Res nolunt diu male administrari.”*
And in 1953, Lao Russell also had Nigeria in mind when she wrote a book titled: “God Will Work *WITH* You but Not *FOR* You”!
Let me conclude, Tim, by telling you a short story of a sculptor who once showed a visitor his studio. It was full of statues of gods. One was very curious, the face was concealed by being covered with hair, and there were wings on each foot. ‘’What is his name? ’said the visitor. *‘’OPPORTUNITY’'* was the reply. ‘Why is his face hidden?’ ‘’Because men seldom know him when he comes to them’’. ‘’Why was he wings on his feet’’? ‘’Because he is soon gone, and once gone, can never be overtaken’’.
Finally, Tim, if it’s got to be it’s up to your elites, but you must bear in mind that the average lifespan of a badly mismanaged heterogeneous society like Nigeria is three scores and ten (70 years). Do the Math!
*Tim*: What time is it? 3:00 a.m.? It’s all a dream. This Harmattan Haze sef!
Merry Christmas and wishing you a sweet 2025!
Congratulations, you deserve a 2024 golden *‘Certificate of Survivor’’* Email me your details today to claim yours!
*Contributed bybTim Akano. President, One Africa Initiatives, timakano1@gmail.com, www.timakano.com
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